The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is rated PG for fantasy action violence, some mild rude humor and brief language.

I offer two sets of guidelines for deciding if you should see The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Firstly, if you are a fan of both National Treasure and the Harry Potter series, then you obviously like watching kids do cool, special-effects magic tricks and you have developed a tolerance for Nicolas Cage, and you will probably enjoy The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Or secondly, if you still enjoy getting happy meals at McDonald’s (get them while you still can!), then you will probably enjoy The Sorcerer’s Apprentice because it is the equivalent of a cinematic happy meal.

The story, very loosely based on the Sorcerer’s Apprentice scene from Fantasia, is yet another tale of the unlikeliest of candidates becoming the chosen one. In this case, Dave, the socially-underdeveloped physics nerd from New York City, becomes the “Prime Merlinian” thanks to the magical blood he inherited from his great-great-grandwizard Merlin. Nicolas Cage, as Balthazar, becomes his mentor and Alfred Molina, as Horvath, his nemesis. The wizards battle all over NYC. There are lots of explosions and fireworks… Its all about as memorable as the bag of sour patch kids you are likely to consume while watching it and about as nutritious (maybe I’m stretching this metaphor too far).

Like a happy meal, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is mass-produced, lacking any real value, and dissatisfying, but it comes with a shiny toy, lots of special effects. I guess it is happy too, in a cheap kind of way.